It's been a day, all damn day long. I absolutely hate cold weather and I am currently hiding from the ice and rain sporting my fuzzy purple slippers and watching The Taming of the Shrew (the Elizabeth Taylor, Humphrey Bogart version). Amazing movie. Everyone should watch it.
Although today as a whole sucked quite a bit, I did wake to a pleasant surprise: Titan slept inside last night and didn't tear up anything. Nothing. Not one single piece of paper. No pee. No poo. It was amazing. I couldn't believe it. I woke up to him looking down at me (I slept in the living room to insure I would hear if he started destroying things and wake up in time to stop him) drool dripping from his jowls. He got mucho treats this morning.
Work was terrible. It was freezing in the store. People were rude as usual. Women wanted discounts for merchandise that was already marked down to the limit. I lost several sales because I refused to give discounts for make-up on a dress (that came off anyway), jeans marked 75% off that were missing a rhinestone, shoes that were 65% off because the shoelace was shorter in one shoe (buy a new shoelace stupid). That's just the kind of thing I deal with every day.
I walk in my door and step into my warm house and a smell I haven't smelled in almost a year hit me in the face: my grandmother's spaghetti. I guess this was just wishful thinking because there wasn't spaghetti on the stove and my grandmother isn't here anymore. I cried for the first time in a long time. I never thought I would have to go a day without my Mimama being just a phone call away. I kept several of her books that I pull out whenever I need to be close to her. I desperately miss hearing her tell me that she loves me the whole world and back again. I miss her speaking to me in Pig Latin like it was a real language. I miss her telling me about every Days of Our Lives episode of the week, even though she knew I couldn't care less about that show. I miss watching movies with here and getting a play-by-play because she had already seen that movie. I miss watching a new movie with her telling me a story I had already heard 500 times and then her asking me what was happening in the movie. I pretty much miss everything. This is all triggered by reading my bestie's latest blog. Her grandmother is turning 80 this week, actually, I think her birthday was Tuesday. I envy her so much because she still has her grandmother. I envy her even more because she and her grandmother have such and amazing relationship. I hope Lindsay has many many many more years with her.
I feel a bit guilty when I have these feelings of sadness over losing my Mimama. I still have an amazing grandmother. My Nennie is a wonderful woman who is always there whenever I need anything whether it be a dress that needs to be hemmed by the next day or a hot steaming pot of corn chowder when I am sick. She is amazing.
So enough of that little spill... I have to end this lengthy blog here (you're welcome). The boyfriend should be here soon to take me to a movie, which means I will have to shed my fuzzy purple slippers and put on actual clothes that don't have a sports/school logo on them and go out into this nasty, cold, dark night. Joy. I guess I should be happy about going to a movie with the boyfriend, but I am less than thrilled about leaving my cozy slippers at home. So into the purse they will go. This is why I carry such large bags. Smart, yes I know. Stay warm and smile. Smile because it could always be worse. Smile because you have so many wonderful things in your life. But more importantly, smile because it makes everyone around you wonder what shenanigans you are cooking up.
Until next time...
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
SNOW!
This morning after I climbed out of bed, I walked over to my window, pulled back the curtains, and raised the mini blind... My yard was covered with the fluffy white stuff. Little patches everywhere. Oh glorious sight! But wait, it's supposed to be seventy degrees today! This must be a freak weather occurrence. Also, why isn't it frigid in my room, the coldest in the house. As I wiped the sleep out of my eyes and shook my head to gather my thoughts, Titan come prancing up to my window with a...wad of snow...in his mouth...? What? Wow. Snow dense enough to hold up to Titan's rancid dog breath. Impossible. That's when it finally hit me. It isn't snow. It is his (insert choice word here) dog bed. Awesome. Another morning of raking the yard. Sweet. Where is Titan now? Tied to a pole in the yard where he will remain whenever I am not in the yard with him.
After such an amazing weekend with my bestie Lindsay and boyfriend David, it was great to wake up to reality. I saw a cute little mastiff puppy in a pet store this weekend and he looked like a great new buddy for Titan. He almost had a new home...Almost. That cute not-so-little puppy was $2000. So he is still in the pet store. I did come home with a new pet though. Am Emperor Scorpion. He is huge. So big, in fact, that my mother wouldn't let me keep him in the house. He had to go home with David. I believe this is a good thing because around 3 this morning, I woke up combating phantom scorpions in my bed. Throwing blankets, swatting at nonexistent bugs, and panicking in general. I finally came to my senses and realized that the scorpion was at David's house and not in my bed. I don't have a name for him yet, but I do have a picture. It will be at the end of this post.
And that is all for now. So until next time...
After such an amazing weekend with my bestie Lindsay and boyfriend David, it was great to wake up to reality. I saw a cute little mastiff puppy in a pet store this weekend and he looked like a great new buddy for Titan. He almost had a new home...Almost. That cute not-so-little puppy was $2000. So he is still in the pet store. I did come home with a new pet though. Am Emperor Scorpion. He is huge. So big, in fact, that my mother wouldn't let me keep him in the house. He had to go home with David. I believe this is a good thing because around 3 this morning, I woke up combating phantom scorpions in my bed. Throwing blankets, swatting at nonexistent bugs, and panicking in general. I finally came to my senses and realized that the scorpion was at David's house and not in my bed. I don't have a name for him yet, but I do have a picture. It will be at the end of this post.
And that is all for now. So until next time...
Friday, January 28, 2011
Maybe I'll Just Go.
Titan's constant mess-making hasn't ended. I've spent many hours the past two weeks cleaning my backyard. Just when I think I have removed everything from the yard that he could possibly destroy, he surprises me with a nice big mess the next morning.
This little ritual has prompted me to plan a mini vacation for myself. I am going to Disney World. And I am going to have a great time. A glorious week full of roller coasters, tea cups, princesses, and no mastiff sized messes. I am very excited. I picked out a hotel: Port Orleans Riverside; I picked out a park pass option: 4 day hopper pass for all Disney parks; and I picked a flight: I'll leave at 6am for NOLA. The one little problem I didn't have a solution for: Titan. Where would my massive dog stay for a week?
My parents can't keep him because my mom's hip would be in grave danger of being hurt severely because 94 pound Titan loves to jump on people. My dad is gone 5 days out of the week so Titan would be without food for several days. My sweet little diva of a sister will NOT feed him, she may get dirty and we can't have that. *rolls eyes*
So after I was all excited about this awesome dream trip to my favorite place on the planet, my dream was shattered because I just had to have that sweet not-so-little mastiff. Oh the sacrifices I have to make for him! But, he is my child so I must learn to put him first, and if that means no Disney World trip until he calms down and makes it easier for other people to care for him, then I will just put my little trip on hold and continue to wake up every morning like I do now: wake up to Titan scratching on my window to show me his newest mess in the back yard. Joy.
On second thought, maybe I'll just go.
Until next time...
Friday, January 14, 2011
Free mastiff to ANY home
So I woke up this morning like I have the past 4- to ground zero of a war zone in my house. The one question I ask myself every morning is this: Where does he find all this crap?!
Today I woke up to shattered vases, splintered CD cases, empty Coke bottles, rocks-yes, rocks- all over the kitchen, cardboard box bits, make-up, picture frames, and feathers. Have you ever tried to get glass and tiny bits of a CD case out of the carpet? It's easier to find a man who doesn't lie, cheat, or sneak than it is to perform this act. Three consecutive mornings I have had to pick pieces of glass out of my hands and feet as Titan just lies on the floor watching my every move with those big brown eyes. It would seem almost impossible to be mad at that face. Almost. I am affected by those sweet eyes until I look down at the mess surrounding him and me and then I remember why I'm pissed in the first place. I always say that I won't bring him inside again, that he can sit outside on the patio with his massive paws (and other appendages) stuck to the concrete because I'm extremely tired of picking pieces of glass out of my hands and feet. And I always cave. I bring him inside and let him sleep on the couch where it is warm and toasty and his massive paws (and other appendages) aren't frozen to the concrete. Yet he repays that act of kindness by destroying everything within reach, and even some things that aren't.
I'm considering obedience school. Possibly doggy day camp. Or maybe just a new home. Let's hope he grows out of this behavior because his life span may be reduced drastically if he doesn't.
Now I must go back to tweezing glass out of the carpet. Until next time...
Today I woke up to shattered vases, splintered CD cases, empty Coke bottles, rocks-yes, rocks- all over the kitchen, cardboard box bits, make-up, picture frames, and feathers. Have you ever tried to get glass and tiny bits of a CD case out of the carpet? It's easier to find a man who doesn't lie, cheat, or sneak than it is to perform this act. Three consecutive mornings I have had to pick pieces of glass out of my hands and feet as Titan just lies on the floor watching my every move with those big brown eyes. It would seem almost impossible to be mad at that face. Almost. I am affected by those sweet eyes until I look down at the mess surrounding him and me and then I remember why I'm pissed in the first place. I always say that I won't bring him inside again, that he can sit outside on the patio with his massive paws (and other appendages) stuck to the concrete because I'm extremely tired of picking pieces of glass out of my hands and feet. And I always cave. I bring him inside and let him sleep on the couch where it is warm and toasty and his massive paws (and other appendages) aren't frozen to the concrete. Yet he repays that act of kindness by destroying everything within reach, and even some things that aren't.
I'm considering obedience school. Possibly doggy day camp. Or maybe just a new home. Let's hope he grows out of this behavior because his life span may be reduced drastically if he doesn't.
Now I must go back to tweezing glass out of the carpet. Until next time...
Monday, January 10, 2011
And so it begins...
Well I have done it. I have a blog. "Everyone is doing it" pulled me in this time. Darn you, peer pressure and the desire to keep up with the Joneses! I've had my sweet little mastiff for 6 months now and so much has happened that I could easily write a book. But since I lack the patience and determination to sit down and actually put pen to paper, so to speak, blogging will have to suffice.
From eating entire bags of Hershey Kisses while everyone is sleeping to destroying my backyard on a daily basis, he keeps me on my toes. When it all started in July of 2010, I never thought that sweet little puppy would make my life a living hell 90% of the time. We will start from the beginning and see where it goes. I apologize in advance. This will probably be rather lengthy. I'm sure you will become bored and stop reading right about.....now. For those troopers who make it through the entire post, kudos!
In May of 2010, my wonderful grandmother passed away. I was devastated. My family bought her house and we began moving in July. It was difficult to live in her house, always expecting her to walk down the hall or see her in the kitchen making hot chocolate even though it was the peak of summer. To top it all off, my sweet Siamese cat Oliver ran away the day we moved. Needless to say, I needed something to take my mind of all the bad stuff. I tried fish with the thought that maybe having something to take care of would keep me occupied and prevent the waterfall of tears that always seemed to flow from my eyes. Well, the fish died. All 10 of them. (Yeah, plants and fish have a very high mortality rate when they are placed under my care. I've killed an air fern! It's truly pathetic.)
After flushing all of the fish and cleaning the two aquariums, I decided that aquatic pets were not for me. As I was lounging on the couch one night, I began thinking about the one pet I had always wanted: a mastiff. The gentle giant of dogs. I had seen the movie The Sandlot many times as a kid and the guard dog (an English mastiff) stole my heart. He was huge and slobbery. And huge. So I began my search. After about 15 minutes of internet research, I discovered that maybe a mastiff wasn't in my near future. $1500-2000 for a dog?! What the hell?! So I quickly logged off the breeder sites and clicked on the best place to find cheap crap: craigslist. Three minutes and four posts later, I found an ad: "Mastiff puppies/ half bull, half English/ must go ASAP/ $350." I think I was in the middle of a happy dance when I finally read the rest of the ad which gave the seller's location. Dallas, Texas. Happy dance cut short. Crushed heart. Thrown iPhone. Pissed Ashley.
I told the amazing boyfriend about this little puppy in Dallas, Texas, and how much I just had to have him. Long story short, (well I'm trying to condense, really I am) he told me that we were going that weekend to get my sweet puppy. Keep in mind that this is 490 miles. He was willing to drive five HUNDRED miles to get this dog for me. Spoiled? Why yes I am. So we drove the 500 miles to Dallas, Texas. I got my sweet little baby. At 6 weeks old, he looked about 3 months old. He wasn't so little. I took a pet carrier with me. He barely fit. But he was so cute.
Just at the Texas state line, I smelled pee. Awesome. He flooded the pet carrier. This should have warned me about the joys to come. After pulling over at a Walgreens at 2am (not all Walgreens are 24/7 stores, I discovered this at 2am when I need a 24/7 Walgreens) and cleaning up the puppy piddle with 3 Wendy's napkins, I was in a less-than-happy mood. The cute little puppy was quickly becoming not so cute. And then he looked at me with those big sad eyes, and I completely forgot about my pee-soaked backseat and pee-covered hands. Ok, so maybe not the hands. We rode around for 20 minutes, my hands held out in front of me so nothing touched my yucky germy fingers, trying to find someplace that was open at 2am on a Friday so I could wash and re-wash my hands. Fortunately, the rest of the trip was uneventful, aside from falling asleep too many times to count. Once home, all I wanted to do was sleep for 6 days since I had been awake for 24+ hours. But little unnamed puppy had other plans. Whine, pee, whine, pee, whine, whine, whine, pee.
Potty training was almost impossible. He chewed shoes, cables, cell phones, sunglasses, drink bottles, Xbox 360 controls, Xbox 360 games, and everything else left on or near the floor. No-name made messes a lot, pooed a lot, and peed even more. I went through 8 or so names before I finally settled on Titan. Everyone hated it. But I knew that he would grow into his name. And grow he did.
My sweet little Titan in now 8 months old and an absolute joy. Well, when he isn't eating my shoes or paint pens on the carpet he is a joy.
Guess what... you made it! You have read the entire first post! Yay for you! I'm sure something will happen between now and 8am that will make for a great topic later. I've already cleaned the back yard 3 times this week so I'm not sure what else he could do... Titan is snoring on the couch so maybe he is too exhausted from destroying books and glass jars to wreak much havoc tonight. That being said, I bid you goodnight.
Until next time....
From eating entire bags of Hershey Kisses while everyone is sleeping to destroying my backyard on a daily basis, he keeps me on my toes. When it all started in July of 2010, I never thought that sweet little puppy would make my life a living hell 90% of the time. We will start from the beginning and see where it goes. I apologize in advance. This will probably be rather lengthy. I'm sure you will become bored and stop reading right about.....now. For those troopers who make it through the entire post, kudos!
In May of 2010, my wonderful grandmother passed away. I was devastated. My family bought her house and we began moving in July. It was difficult to live in her house, always expecting her to walk down the hall or see her in the kitchen making hot chocolate even though it was the peak of summer. To top it all off, my sweet Siamese cat Oliver ran away the day we moved. Needless to say, I needed something to take my mind of all the bad stuff. I tried fish with the thought that maybe having something to take care of would keep me occupied and prevent the waterfall of tears that always seemed to flow from my eyes. Well, the fish died. All 10 of them. (Yeah, plants and fish have a very high mortality rate when they are placed under my care. I've killed an air fern! It's truly pathetic.)
After flushing all of the fish and cleaning the two aquariums, I decided that aquatic pets were not for me. As I was lounging on the couch one night, I began thinking about the one pet I had always wanted: a mastiff. The gentle giant of dogs. I had seen the movie The Sandlot many times as a kid and the guard dog (an English mastiff) stole my heart. He was huge and slobbery. And huge. So I began my search. After about 15 minutes of internet research, I discovered that maybe a mastiff wasn't in my near future. $1500-2000 for a dog?! What the hell?! So I quickly logged off the breeder sites and clicked on the best place to find cheap crap: craigslist. Three minutes and four posts later, I found an ad: "Mastiff puppies/ half bull, half English/ must go ASAP/ $350." I think I was in the middle of a happy dance when I finally read the rest of the ad which gave the seller's location. Dallas, Texas. Happy dance cut short. Crushed heart. Thrown iPhone. Pissed Ashley.
I told the amazing boyfriend about this little puppy in Dallas, Texas, and how much I just had to have him. Long story short, (well I'm trying to condense, really I am) he told me that we were going that weekend to get my sweet puppy. Keep in mind that this is 490 miles. He was willing to drive five HUNDRED miles to get this dog for me. Spoiled? Why yes I am. So we drove the 500 miles to Dallas, Texas. I got my sweet little baby. At 6 weeks old, he looked about 3 months old. He wasn't so little. I took a pet carrier with me. He barely fit. But he was so cute.
Just at the Texas state line, I smelled pee. Awesome. He flooded the pet carrier. This should have warned me about the joys to come. After pulling over at a Walgreens at 2am (not all Walgreens are 24/7 stores, I discovered this at 2am when I need a 24/7 Walgreens) and cleaning up the puppy piddle with 3 Wendy's napkins, I was in a less-than-happy mood. The cute little puppy was quickly becoming not so cute. And then he looked at me with those big sad eyes, and I completely forgot about my pee-soaked backseat and pee-covered hands. Ok, so maybe not the hands. We rode around for 20 minutes, my hands held out in front of me so nothing touched my yucky germy fingers, trying to find someplace that was open at 2am on a Friday so I could wash and re-wash my hands. Fortunately, the rest of the trip was uneventful, aside from falling asleep too many times to count. Once home, all I wanted to do was sleep for 6 days since I had been awake for 24+ hours. But little unnamed puppy had other plans. Whine, pee, whine, pee, whine, whine, whine, pee.
Potty training was almost impossible. He chewed shoes, cables, cell phones, sunglasses, drink bottles, Xbox 360 controls, Xbox 360 games, and everything else left on or near the floor. No-name made messes a lot, pooed a lot, and peed even more. I went through 8 or so names before I finally settled on Titan. Everyone hated it. But I knew that he would grow into his name. And grow he did.
My sweet little Titan in now 8 months old and an absolute joy. Well, when he isn't eating my shoes or paint pens on the carpet he is a joy.
Guess what... you made it! You have read the entire first post! Yay for you! I'm sure something will happen between now and 8am that will make for a great topic later. I've already cleaned the back yard 3 times this week so I'm not sure what else he could do... Titan is snoring on the couch so maybe he is too exhausted from destroying books and glass jars to wreak much havoc tonight. That being said, I bid you goodnight.
Until next time....
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